My name is Gilbert Masie. In fact it isn’t but who cares – anyone with a moment to spare should be able to work out the anagram. One of the more dubious benefits of the Web is that it gives a voice to people like me. In days of yore only one’s family and friends had to put up with our tedious rantings. Now, everyone can have a blog. Well, sad cliche it might be but as I feel my life slipping away like dry sand through my fingers I find that I have so much to say. If nobody wants to listen then at least I can say that I tried. If you agree with me, fine; if you don’t then persuade me why I am wrong; verbal abuse is as boring as patronising sermons.

Gilbert Masie is the trading name of Morgan Associates (Media Services) Limited. Gilbert Masie has more than half a century of experience in filling perfectly good plain paper with written words. Essays, speeches, letters, resumes, plays, poems, film scripts and even the odd song has flown from the nib of his now, well worn pen. So if you ever find yourself lost for words, remember; he never is!

Gilbert is also a performance artist. After 16 years in the Army as an officer and the same amount of time in the law as a solicitor he is able to portray the white middle aged male in all his many forms and guises of whatever class or ethnicity. He has a wide range of accents and an eclectic wardrobe that means he can appear suitably attired for a wide variety of social functions from a box at Royal Ascot to a Meths party under Waterloo Arches

Email him at salmonworks@btinternet.com with your requirements and he promises to get back to you within 24 hours. Rates and prices are entirely negotiable.

Film and television treatments and scripts are a particular speciality. He is currently working on a number of projects for film, TV and radio.